Parents force homeschooled 16-year-old to constantly play with his 11-year-old brother, refuse to let him make friends his own age: 'I’ve only ever had one friend'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 16, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Both of these kids are desperate for a social life, and their mother won't let either of them have one.

Having a second kid doesn't guarantee that your oldest will have a friend. A lot of parents have their 2nd child because they don't want their 1st child to be a lonely only child with no friends. You can debate over whether that's a good enough reason to have a kid until the cows come home, but that's neither here nor there. 

What is here and there is that siblings often do not get along, and it's not common for them to be best friends, especially when they have a considerable age gap. A 10-year-old and a 12-year-old will be able to hang out with each other and do similar things for most of their childhood, but a 10-year-old and a 15-year-old have a much smaller window of opportunity to be playmates, and that's okay! You really can't expect a much older teenager to want to spend their precious free time with a little kid. They want to have friends their own age, and they should be allowed to have that!

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  • A man with acne looking at the camera
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

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  • The mom in this story doesn't understand that her kids need a social life outside of hanging out with each other. Her 16-year-old son is annoyed with his 11-year-old brother for wanting to hang out with him all the time. According to the teenager, his brother should be okay with not having any friends from ages 11-13 because he also didn't have any friends during those years and turned out fine.

  • Am I the bad guy for not wanting to constantly play with my younger brother?

    I (16M) am constantly told that i need to play and entertain my brother whenever he askes me to play by my parents. my brother is 11 (about to be 12) and he has undiagnosed adhd and he recently stopped having seizures, and he always has to have someone play with him, like CONSTANTLY! I feel bad bc my
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  • parents are telling me that he cries when i dont play with him but i also work, have a bunch of church duties, and barley ever have time for "me". maybe i just suck as a brother idk. he only ever want to play what he wants, how he wants, when he wants, and its tiering. he doesn't see spending time as just hanging out in my
    via u/ComfortableCamera268
  • room while i work, i have give him my undivided attention when i "spend time with him". I just need to figure something out...
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  • Modern home office desk setup with computer and chair
    via Matúš Gocman

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  • shheslop NTA. Your brother needs friends his own age, and he needs to learn how to be considerate and respect boundaries.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP He can't bc HES home schooled as am I
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  • A young boy sitting in the woods looking at a cell phone
    via Hans (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • shheslop Oh. Well, that's a problem. Not many options there.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP Ik, but with "these days" she will never do it other kids
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  • shheslop Oh, ok. That makes sense. Maybe online communities and games like Roblox is the way to go. But that can be dangerous if it isn't monitored properly.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP That's the other thing, the don't "monitor anything" unless I say something and it's always combated by him saying that I need to shut up or mind my own business
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  • shheslop Oh, so he's rude? In that case, put your foot down and stop tolerating any behavior from him that's making you uncomfortable or irritable. Create strict boundaries.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP Oh and god forbid if I win on a game that HES good at...
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  • gigpig NTA. You never owe someone entertainment just because they want it from you and you're at an age where you should be learning how to have boundaries. You should play with him when you want to because play is about having fun for both people. Your brother might need friends his own age.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP He can't because my mom decided the when she had kids they would be home schooled there entire life. Like I've only ever had one friend
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  • gigpig Tell your mom that you're at an age where you need more time for yourself and activities outside the home because you will need for prepare for being an adult in two years. Once you leave the home, you need to know when to say no to other people so that you can make good choices in life.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP Also, she doesn't want me to have a girlfriend. I say this bc I told a girl it wouldn't work bc my mom wouldn't let me be in a relationship (even though she always says how much of a good man and gentlemen I am) but I digress. I really love my brother but at 11, 12, and 13 I had NO friends and I turned out fine (ish)...
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  • gigpig Sounds like your mom could use some boundaries of her own. Her speculating on what kind of person you would be like in a relationship before you even have that experience and develop those social skills seems a little invasive to me.
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  • Setting boundaries can be about saying no but also about deciding when you would like to do something. For example, if your brother asks you to play but you don't have time immediately, you can say "Not right now but let's play a game on Saturday after lunch." Show up on your word consistently and people will also respect your no.
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  • ComfortableCamera268 OP I just hate that she started dating at my age and she won't let me. Im fine with her saying that im a good man and stuff like that bc other adults that are complete strangers say that to her when we are out about how respectful and nice I am etc...
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  • No-Firefighter3283 How will your brother be entertained when you leave home at 18 because you've had enough? At 18 I was still expected to look after my 9 year old sister, and share a room with her. She came long after my brother and I, and she was spoiled rotten. I still didn't resent her, it was my parents that were the problem. I was offered a university place at a university 3 hours drive from home, so I packed my suitcase and a couple of boxes and left. I had a beautiful large room in a gre
    via u/No-Firefighter3283
  • parents went straight back to treating me as unpaid labor, looking after my sister, doing the grocery shopping, laundry, taking out trash, etc etc. you get the idea. They also tried imposing a 10pm bedtime and I laughed in their face as I'd been living alone for a year! I immediately started asking around to see if any friends were interested in sharing an apartment and found some. We got on great, lots of fun dinner nights, parties, tv marathons, and so on. I never looked back and never moved b
    via u/No-Firefighter3283

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entitled parents brother crazy things parents say siblings bad parenting bad parents homeschooling homeschool play parent mom Parenting Fail parents brothers playing
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